Afraid.

Im sorry to bother ya late night like this, but i just couldnt take it anymore or store it in me, it was just hard to do so. I dont know what or where it went wrong, but i just couldnt contain it in me anymore. Its making my heart thumping faster as days gone by. Im afraid to close my eyes down. And just let things be for i am not that sorta kind.

I cant rest well or eat well, well maybe because i missed ya much but that wouldnt stop or do anything will it. I guess, all i can do was just sit back and try to relax if i could. Im afraid to close my eyes down and rest my head, as i am scared real bad. I am afraid of my own nightmares, afraid of my own shadow that will consume me, afraid that i might loose something which i want it so badly that i cant take the pressure of it anymore.

You said, i was a lil immature, well i disagree on that, cause no matter what i do or what i had in my mind or my hand, i take em serious and would not let it be just like this. I may sounded naive or it maybe some sorta speech that was taken from a movie or a tag line. But im pretty sure i didnt take anything from there or anywhere to just get close to ya heart and sit right by your side. In fact, i wanna be by your side always.

I dont know how to tell it to ya, as i am afraid that i will ruin things and will let things be worst than what it is right now. You said you didnt want strings attached, but for me just aint the right time to show ya a diamond ring and had strings attached but least give me a chance to prove the years to come by that i be that man to bring ya a diamond ring and show things to ya. Im openin myself up to ya with trust, faith, and confidence. But i cant see nothing from ya or ya hand. Its like i had ya in my mind and heart but not ya presence round.

Its already 5:23am, but i am still wide awake, i am so afraid of closing them eyes and just let the day go by. I am so afraid that i am lost within my own dreams and never come back life again. I am afraid that i will just lie down there, with thoughts of happiness in you in it but i can never felt ya in reality. I am afraid of loosin ya..afraid that you will leave me alone, and didnt wanna go back there to where i was once alone walking the dark alley down to my own faith empty handed.